Teaser for Hairball. You could be here, this weekend, eating a sandwich at 0800.

I’ve hit back onto a good cycle this weekend, one I maintained well earlier in the year: spend the weekend getting thrashed, then go to work on Monday, start chipping away at the list of grading, writing, etc, attend the afternoon meeting and go home to be a couch potato. It worked well today. With a week off next week I almost feel spoiled, until I remember the double-down on paperwork it forces this week, and the huge pile of grading it will give me upon return. A fair trade, in any case.

The only other news, besides the quality field lined up for this weekend (Mary Collier is coming, so we’ll have a woman challenging for the podium!), my sinus congestion, and the afterglow from yesterday’s ride, is the annoying spyware I seemed to have picked up on the laptop today. Even worse, the tiny bubble that pops every thirty seconds to remind me of it’s presence. My motto with all things laptop: bitch about how it wouldn’t happen if we owned a Mac, then let M fix it.

So, with the camera batteries still dead (and the persnickety piece of shit refusing to work with batteries scavenged from headlamps and remotes) and sleep coming on soon, I lay forth my wild prognostications for the KMC this weekend.

-Hairball will kick everyone’s ass, IF he shows up. Except mine; I’m going to destroy everyone Ben Hur style.
-Fred will finish in the top three, perhaps even demonstrating his super Zen master racer dude aura by taking a nap by Dog Lake before roasting the last quarter of the course. He’ll need a nap after I’m done with him.
-Cowgirlonwheels will ride strong, as will Chad and some guys I’ve never met who’ll show at the last minute. Lamentably, my deliberately misleading course directions will lead half of them astray, and the rest will be rendered unconscious for several hours by strategic pine cone bombardments from trained assassin squirrels. This will leave me to fight for the victory and spoils with: myself.
-Mark may show up on his fixie.
-Winning time around 9:30.
-The weather and riding conditions will be ideal. In fact, the conditions are even more ideal at the undisclosed actual location of the race. The field will be very small, as everyone will claim “confusion” to hide their terror and urine-soaked logo shorts. I will claim victory by default.
-Lots of beer will be consumed.
-I will follow the directions on the iodine, and NOT get another intestinal infestation.
-Craig will kick ass and finish strong.
-I will probably mis-shift and stall in the middle of a moderate climb on several occasions. Those occasions will only be when you are trying to pass me.
-New friends will be made, bonds will be forged, plans for the future will be made, and everyone will “party” until 9pm and then go to sleep, leaving all non-riding friends and significant others to ponder how fulfilling their social lives used to before they met the fucking biker freak who wakes up early every weekend to train and insists on 8.78 hours of sleep every night.
-I will not shoot you with an automatic pistol.

Now I’m going to be quiet before the Fat Tire really starts talkin’. Off to bed.

I’ve also started writing “know” instead of “now” very often. Does that sound egocentric to you? Or just unrealistically demanding?