Bedrock & Paradox

Landis liked to say that there was no happy ending for him — regardless of whether he was declared innocent or found guilty. He would be relegated to a perpetual notoriety, a purgatorial treadmill.

“Everybody wants me to look them in the eye and say I didn’t do it,” he told me. “I’m willing to do that, but really, what does that do? Is that logical to think you can tell by looking into my eyes? I don’t think so. The only way that people would ever believe me is to admit it and say that I did it. That’s it. Nothing else is ever going to be indisputable.” He followed this by saying that he had no plans to admit anything because there was nothing to admit. “I’ve never cheated once in my career,” he said.

And yet there were drug tests that suggested otherwise. It was disorienting: either Landis was the most hubristic cheater in the history of cycling, or he was merely innocent, angry and doomed.

Sad. The phrase human tragedy is cliche, but just like finally being on a ship at night, in the end it does make sense.