This one’s dead easy.

Roughly chop (don’t even THUNK about deseeding!):
~25 fresh jalapenos
~15 assorted small chilis
~6 anaheim peppers
1 monster walla-walla sweet white onion (or 3-4 conventional vidalias)
2-3 pounds of assorted cherry tomatoes

Run it all through a food processor. Not too much now. As you process the veggies, add about 8 oz of a good light, crisp, not sweet wheat beer. (Like Big Sky’s seasonal Belgian Wit.)

Put all of the above in a big bowl. Stir in plenty of sea salt, and around a cup of Apple Cider vinegar. Add 1/4-1/3 cup lemon, lime, or grapefruit juice, depending on personal taste and the potency of the fruit.

Stir well, decant into containers, let sit in fridge for a few days for best results.
Blaadoww!

Here’s a link to the competition. After we both reach ten (or Ariel capitulates), I’ll post a summary and each side can solicit a number of judges, which will then pass judgment (in the Kantian sense, on the Sublime, subjective but not merely subjective).

First pass at a Parcour gear list up here.