I’ve been thinking about the Yellowstone project (my visiting the park a least once a month all year, starting last June/July) a lot, in the wake of my failure to go on my ski/snowshoe across the Bob this past weekend.

All day Friday, even after the food was bought and pack was packed, I was nervous about the trip, full of stress and dread. So that afternoon I bailed, unpacked, and went to sleep. Did the little overnight in the Rattlesnake instead, got out for training (see below), and did some school work. Hung out with M, etc. It’s been good, a real break for spring break, rather than an epic road trip.

It’s a mark of my growth and maturity and general perspective that I can be at home for a spring or fall break from college and not think that I’m failing as a person. This is the first such break EVER that I’ve not run off hours away. Reading about Kurt’s rippin’ adventures doesn’t help, but I’m honestly cool with it.

Which brings me back to Yellowstone. In the course of taking breaks from studying (the curse of the computer, with worlds of work and information at your fingertips simultaneously) that I came across the superlative BBC documentary about the world’s first national park, all of which is on Youtube in HD:

http://www.youtube.com/v/1a-E9_qxSGc&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&hd=1

I’d really recommend every bit of it. There are some truly extraordinary moments captured. As M said last night, what the PBS deal last fall ought to have been. I do take issue with the use of the Grand Teton as a backdrop (at least once) in almost every episode, but we’ll forgive on the grounds that the park really ought to be three-five times as big, and encompass the whole GYE (Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem).

I think back to the trips I’ve done, many of which have been squeezed in, and almost all of which seem to have just poked into the margins of the place. That is to a large extent accurate, though more due to duration than distance. You just cannot hope to feel immersed unless you spend lots of time.

Part of this is winter. I was scared of the cold, and lacking in a bit of knowledge and gear (mainly just a -20 bag). I’ll be back to do a big Christmas ski traverse eventually.

More of it was time, and I’d like to fix that. I have a window betwene graduation early in May, and when I will soon thereafter need to be employeed. As May will be the 12th month of the cycle, I’d like to end it with a bang. Anyone interested and able to do a big trip (like, Gardiner to Jackson) in mid-May, please let me know. Seriously, I prefer a partner for long trips in GRIZ country.

However, the main reason I feel like I’ve poked around the edges is that the better you get to know something, the more you realize that you know very little. This explains the note of existential exasperation I feel toward the Yellowstone project, and towards my Portfolio. A thesis would be so much easier, because it wouldn’t have to be a definitive summation of my MSW education! ERRR!!

I have made great progress, and am confident that at the end of this coming weekend it will be almost done (in draft form). Getting this degree has frustrated me around almost every turn with how much more difficult and complex and emotional it has been, and I’d be let down (and paranoid) if that failed to be that case right at the end.

On the outdoors/training front, the ski race the other weekend did get me realizing that I’ve suffered a lack of big and hard adventures in my life lately. Even with Transiowa going out the window, that needs to be fixed. So I’m fixing to do the Grizzly Man next month. Besides a hill hike on Saturday and my bikepack (Sawmill Gulch was in great shape!) I bought a quadrangle Monday, and headed out to the Lubrecht Forest from 6-9pm and did a bit of orienteering in the rain, snow, and dark.

It was a blast. I’ve done loads of mapwork over recent years, but especially in canyon country (where landmarks are so easily seen) the compass hardly ever came out. Not in Montana, while stuck down in the pines, or on rainy days when ridgelines blend together, you better take a good bearing a trust it. I hit everything dead on, and I mean dead on. Arbitrary knoll and drainage hopping proved to be great fun. My scoutmasters would be proud. The only trouble I got myself into was underestimating my speed, a byproduct of using larger scale maps for so long.

My legs were pretty worked after all that (plenty of foot deep postholing on north facing slopes), but it had to snow somewhere, and the image on the Lolo Pass webcam late last night had me setting the alarm early. A legit powder day, one foot of heavy, the best one in over a month. I had forgotten a bit of how to let the skis run skiing down in that much heavy snow. So yes, this morning was freakin awesome.

I need to hit the foam roller before bed.

More homework tomorrow, then the hut trip with M Thursday-Friday. Looks like we should have some mighty fine skiing conditions for it. I cannot wait.