That is why you are here.
After Hairball’s latest words, I want to say a few of my own. 90 years ago Mallory said that he climbed mountains “…because it’s there.”
The question becomes what it is.
It seems to me to exist on two levels. First is the why of our comfortable lives. The lack of “life and death” struggles hunting deer in the bush, the jobs that address only isolated aspects of our lives, the general tiredness and excess of outlets to put energy into and create it out of.
The second it is more personal, lurking behind your 3 am eyes. For me it’s a chance to bundle all my demons and look at them all at once. Adam’s wonderful words about the race becoming a metaphor for one’s life. Blake’s ability to see eternity in a grain of sand.
But what if the demons take over? There have been many, many excrutiating moments (M can tell stories) of times when my very sanity hung on getting after it that day, hour, and minute. When any deviation or doubt was simply unacceptable, inconceivable even. When my drive to succeed, as such, took over and was fully steering the bus.
Lately, and my lovely wife cannoy be given enough credit here, I’ve gotten a firmer grip on my own agency. Sometimes that means getting up at 0200 and forcing my way through agonizingly monotonous hours or forward progress. Others it means pigging out on eggs and ham while watching morning TV.
I’m far from content all the time, but I have more highs, higher highs, and have them in more diverse settings than ever before in my life. I think the latter is the biggest victory of all.
Bedrock & Paradox 
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