Bedrock & Paradox

I dream of a hard and brutal mysticism in which the naked self merges with a non-human world and yet somehow survives still intact, individual, separate. Paradox and bedrock.

Lost

And looking, for something.  

I am firmly outside my comfort zone now, in a new biome, but more importantly at the beginning of a new vocation and avocation.  
My school week looks like this: practicum (for-credit internship) from 7-2 Tuesdays and Wednesdays, class from 3-7 Tuesdays, 11-2 and 3-6 Thursday, and 8-11 Friday.  Not too bad, I just haven’t yet found the bottom of the water.  The practicum pushes me, by choice.  I’m working at a dialysis center of a major hospital.  For the next year, all my clients will be facing death closely, many will be unhealthy, old, degenerate.  I try to say that last in a value neutral sense, but I’ve a horror of the living manifestations of death that runs deep.  Too many men in my family have been felled by degenerative diseases, and the fear and resistance bred from that is likely the single biggest reason I go out into the woods.
But I’m not in grad school to take it easy.
Next week, once I have a better sense of home many hours classes will need, I’m drawing up a more regimented training schedule.  Time management and hard school I know well, and it will require my best discipline to do all that I want in the next year.  Besides riding a bit, running more, and climbing a few days a week, I’ll be hitting the gym twice a week.  Weight lifting.  Something I’ve always hated, but a necessary step to build a better engine for the future.  
Speaking of which, a powerful plan for late next summer is a south to north traverse of the Bob, hiking in, running the meat of the South Fork of the Flathead (Meadow Creek gorge: “Often less than 15′ wide, it’s like a labyrinth, as the canyon twists and turns and it’s impossible to see what lies around the corner.”), hiking over to the head of the Middle Fork of the Flathead, and running it (“This is one river where it’s not necessary to remind people to wear life jackets.  You may wish you had two.”) to the road and the end.  A good week, I think.  I’ll need to learn fast, and find some good partners.
Motivation:
Bankruptcy of pocket, or bankruptcy of soul?
It’s the eternal question, that, though I decided a while ago that there are experiences out in the world worth seeking out that don’t run greased on death.  Thinking about it keeps me honest, a good thing, especially now.  
In random notes, my camera is acting strange, so no pics of the completed townie-fixie-cross bike.  I redished an old 27″ rear wheel and locktited Matt’s 15t surly cog on.  The back wheel is not true, at all, but I did the best I could.  Props to M for digging a nice Vittoria kevlar 27″ slick out of the scrap heap.  It’s a fun thing to take to the bakery.  

DaveC

5 responses to “Lost”

  1. Enel Avatar
    Enel

    “I’m working at a dialysis center of a major hospital. For the next year, all my clients will be facing death closely, many will be unhealthy, old, degenerate.”Many will be surprisingly young and already dead without the dialysis technology.Those are probably the sickest chronically ill overall patients I ever treat. Most have diabetes, heart disease, vascular disease, etc to round out the problem.It is a great population for your practicum because people cope with it in so many different ways. They have all been given the choice to die, or be intermittently, but regularly dependent on a machine and surgical IV access.Bravo for choosing that challenge. I look forward to your updates.Don’t buy into that “client” BS too much:)

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  2. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    I shall do my best. Guys like you are role models, in that and other respects.Bike update: switched the 42 for a 37, and raised the quill an inch. Mo better (and 66.6 gear inches, tehe).

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  3. Phillip Avatar
    Phillip

    Once again it appears you have found plenty of fulfilling challenges in a new community. I have not managed to find the same reservoir of energy that you draft from. I definitely admire that motivation.Did a quick search of the Flathead…why the sudden interest in Class IV-V? Will be curious to see your choice of craft (I assume packraft) and how skill development comes along. Does my memory serve me correctly in believing that you have kayaked in the past?Enjoyed the trailer, a shock considering how rarely I positively respond to that outdoor sub-culture. It seems that many of us are driven by some factor of this question. But why is it always presented in such a mutually exclusive fashion? Remember to pick Paul’s brain when you come to the wedding, he has attempted a portion of one of those runs (not sure which).

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  4. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    I have kayaked up to III+ in the past. Never had a functional roll, but did ok otherwise.My interest is not in whitewater for it’s own sake, but connecting the two rivers, seems, from my limited experience, to be a very elegant way of traversing the Bob.

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  5. Phillip Avatar
    Phillip

    It would be an elegant way to traverse that expansive wilderness area that I have been lusting after for years. The class IV-V nature and descriptions of that canyon seem to come from seasons associated with high run-off (so small rafts can squeeze through) which produce nasty strainers and boiling ,narrow hydraulics. It sounds and looks like it could be a fun class III-IV if approached later in the season, especially if you operating an inflatable. Just watch out for those squirrelly hydraulics in such a small boat and don’t be too attached to staying upright. Look forward to the TR as I have no doubt you will find a way to make it work next year.

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