I made some pancakes.

Saw evidence of sticky fingers.
And thought about the future. The adventuring future, specifically.

Registration for the Bighorn 100 opened today, which was on the to-do list this year. I do want to do Hardrock eventually, and need a resume for it. But the entry fee for Bighorn is 225 bucks. No frickin way. I’m not saying I’ll never do a race with an entry fee again, and I’ve never paid money for a race and felt like it was ill-spent, but that figure still just sticks in my throat. So I’m not doing Bighorn.

So besides Transiowa in April and the best mountain bike race ever on March 27th*, what to do with myself? I need a long, adventurous something starting in late May or early June. I wonder…. Maybe. The no-job timing and riding progression make it seem possible. Possibly.

I’ve been a grumpy little bitch for most of the last week. M and I walked through the snow to get ice cream yesterday evening, and got to talk about what ails me. Uncertainty, in a word, and all the fears or failure, success, and execution and process that go along. Leaving school will be tough, because I’ll be done. Judgment will be passed on whether I used the time wisely, I’ll have to get a job, and even if we stay in Missoula, will be leaving behind the fantastic community of practice into which I’ve grown in the last 15 months. All for the better. Just like doing the TD, it’s a good sort of contemplative uncertainty.

In other news, I went skiing yesterday.
It snowed lightly from daybreak until midnight, and still only accumulated a few inches in town. “Light snow mist” wunderground poetically called it.

For some silly reason, I’ve managed to seek out crappy conditions almost every time I’ve gone out skiing this year. A few times it was not planed, but by starting at 4100′ yesterday, I knew I’d be dealing with thin cover and no base for several thousand vertical, and that I was unlikely to get high enough for really good skiing in the time I had.
Throwing fuel on the fire of my ressentiment, the right strap complex of my all-pack ripped out a bit when I heaved it on at the car. Really? Your dumb ass neglected to put a bartack there?! I was pissed at myself, mortified, embarrassed, and glad it hadn’t done that in the Bob back in October. In addition, the second mile of trail had thin cover, and I took my skis off to walk up the narrow and steep switchbacks only to discover what I ought to have expected: 3″ of overnight powder atop 2″ of bullet ice.

The theme of this winter, on foot, skis, bike, or truck, has been FEAR THE ICE. Don’t leave home without your crampons, idiot!

As bad as it was on the up, it was far worse on the way down. Butt sliding with skis strapped to the pack is not very effective.

But the trail doesn’t care about my internal conflicts, and I knew I ought to just get over it and enjoy the gorgeous day, and take the combat skiing as it came. I am getting better at skinning over deadfall, a unique and varied skill.
I’m also getting much better at skiing itself, as witnessed by the tough conditions, and the fact that I only fell twice in 1500′ of descent, and both times pretty softly.

Dodging logs and stumps in clearcuts and on narrow trails with minimal snow and no base is not a task to be laughed at. I did have to do a bit of edge work for my trouble last night.

So, life continues, homework gets done, skills are built, and I’m improving the all-pack as it gets repaired. And inspite of a long absence, a surprise move, and my crankiness, our marriage gets more and more enjoyable and rewarding, often at the same time! As Mike said so well, life is good:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8911352&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=1&color=ffffff&fullscreen=1

I am also proud to report that Renan is tearing shit up. The whole set of dispatches in this series are worth watching, but this last one takes it:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8904557&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=1&color=ffffff&fullscreen=1

Off the grid indeed. We should all be so lucky/purposive from time to time.

*If you know, you know. I’ll be there, of course, riding the loop I want to. In this case, it is the original loop, plus the deal-breaker dirt climb, riding Green Dot and Blue Dot (all), and not metal masher.